Mistake
by EndlessStorm
Summary: Matt... I made a mistake. I took everything for granted, and I hurt you. I don't ever expect you to forgive me, but... I'm so sorry.


It had been seven years.

Seven years since the announcement of L's death had been made known to the occupants of Wammy's House.

Seven years since Mello had left.

Or more importantly, seven years since Mello had told Matt how worthless of a friend he was, and that he was just a dog and never stood a chance of surpassing he or Near, and _then _left.

Seven years since the hearts of two boys had shattered, getting swept up in the wind for them to find only seven years later.

* * *

><p>"Mello."<p>

"...Matt."

Two boys- no, men now- faced each other, both covered in blood and holding weapons. It was over.

The chase for Kira was over.

The search for each other was over.

And quite frankly, Mello had a million things he wanted to say but couldn't find the strength to.

This was the moment that the ex-mafia member had been waiting years for. After leaving Wammy's in a rage, it took him several days before he fully understood just _what _he had blurted to Matt.

That had been his first mistake.

His second had been waiting a full year before finally gaining the courage to return to Wammy's House- oh, no, he had no intention of staying. But he had to make things right with Matt.

Matt didn't deserve to live his life thinking that his only friend hated him.

Matt didn't deserve to have _Mello _as his only friend.

He was much too good for that.

These were the only thoughts that drove Mello to return to that orphanage. No one was happy to see him back, of course.

Mello didn't expect them to be.

But, Matt... Matt was gone. Left. He had left Wammy's six months prior to search for Mello; the only indication of this was a note with a few simple words written on it, signed in Matt's real name. Other than that, Rodger had no leads as to _where _Matt had gone.

Sure, if the orphanage _really_ wanted to find him, they could have done it in a heart beat. It _was _a house full of geniuses training to become detectives. And it was the same with finding Mello.

But there was obviously had no use for two sixteen year olds; one obsessed with being the greatest and the other always trailing along.

In retrospect, Near always was destined to become L's successor.

After another year of searching failed, Mello turned to the only way he could hope to drown out his misery.

He joined the mafia.

Years were spent doing all things illegal; all in hopes that it could lead to a certain redheaded gamer.

The blonde killed those who didn't cooperate. He sold his body and allowed himself to be tortured day after day just to get information.

In the end, it wouldn't matter, as long as he had his best friend back.

And now here he was, standing three feet away from him.

Matt looked exactly the same, save for the height difference. Dark red hair, striking emerald eyes... donning the same striped shirt and orange goggles.

How... Matt-like.

Matt seemed as though he was going to say something, but was waiting for Mello to first.

What was he supposed to say, anyway?

Thoughts and words flooded Mello's mind.

Broken promises.

Shared secrets.

Shed tears.

_Matt... I don't deserve you as a friend, and I never did._

_You are much, much too good for me._

_That day... I made the biggest mistake of my life._

_In a fit of rage, I said such idiotic things that weren't truthful in the slightest._

_Those were things that I'll never be able to take back._

_I saw the hurt in your eyes._

_I hurt you, and yet I didn't do anything about it._

_All my life, I've wanted nothing more in the world than to protect you from anyone or anything that could be harmful._

_Who would have thought? In the end, I should have been protecting you from... myself._

_It's been seven years, and here I am, just now getting the chance._

_I'm sorry, Matt._

_I'm so sorry._

_I'm sorry for what I said._

_I'm sorry that I left._

_I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend._

_I'm sorry for breaking my promise._

_I'm sorry that I wasn't capable of protecting you._

_I... I love you._

_I love you so much, Matt._

_You're my best friend._

_Or... you were._

_I could never ask you to take me back._

_I can't allow myself to be that selfish again._

_But, I just want you to know..._

_Please, understand..._

_And as terrible as a friend that I am, please never let my awful words get to you._

_You're an amazing person, despite what I or anyone else has ever told you._

_Please... if I could just see you smile one more time..._

Those were the words Mello wished he could have said.

The words he _should _have said.

The words he _should have been able _to say.

But instead, he stood there, staring at Matt while his eyes said it all and hot tears fell silently down his face.

And before he knew it, the shorter boy had wrapped him in a tight embrace, burying his face in the other's neck.

He had made such a huge mistake, and taken everything for granted, but...

For now, everything was better left unsaid.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN- I'm so sorry, Vee._**

**_I'll never have the courage to tell you these words._**


End file.
